Honey Boo Boo hasn’t been on a great roll at the pageants lately. She’s lost a few. That’s why they got her the pig. And a new pageant coach who is — wait for it — also ridiculously obese. The new dance number for Alana has her trying to be Elvis. “Do you know who Elvis is?” the pageant coach asks. Says Honey Boo Boo, “He’s Santa Claus’ helper.”

God help us all.

‘Honey Boo Boo’: That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore, Tim Goodman